This survival guide has definitely evolved over the past 3 months, especially with me going back and forth between strict and modified bed rest. Nevertheless, here are my thoughts:
1) Take some time to whine, complain, and stomp your feet
The weekend we came home from L&D and was told I needed to spend the rest of my pregnancy in bed (I was 22 weeks) I cried and cried. All I could think of was how unfair it all was and I kept telling Matt how I just wanted to be normal. I mean, we already were in the 20% of couples who faced infertility, and the 20% of couples who lost babies, and now I have to be a part of the 6% of women who experienced a high-risk pregnancy?!? UNFAIR! I can't flaunt my baby bump I prayed so long and so hard for? UNFAIR! I can't spend time piecing together the perfect nursery for my son? UNFAIR! I can't spend hours at Babies R Us perfecting my baby registry? UNFAIR! I can't drive a car, go somewhere besides the doctors office, exercise or do anything resembling a normal day? UNFAIR!
I think it was important for me to go through this process of "grieving" before my bed rest really got going so I could move on. Yes it's unfair, but what am I really going to do about it? Ignore my doctors advice and put my baby and body at risk? I don't think so! Once I got through that first initial temper tantrum I was able to see bed rest for what it really was...time for me to spend growing my baby boy and being a mama.
2) Create a routine for yourself
Left to my own devices I will start staying up all night and sleep all day- it happens every summer when I don't have to go to work everyday. I knew if I didn't do something to shorten my days I would go crazy, so I do some variation of the following everyday:
8am: wake up, take medicine, let Cooper out, eat breakfast
8:30- 11am: watch the Today Show and Kathy Lee and Hoda, check email, read blogs, online shopping, other stuff on the computer
11am- take a shower, "get ready"
Noon: eat lunch, move to the living room
Noon- early afternoon: watch DVR shows
Early afternoon- when Matt get home: read
6- bedtime: time with Matt
It's not much, but if I let myself stay in my PJ's all day laying in my bed I just feel...off. And I always try to switch up where I'm laying...bed, couch, recliners in various rooms. It's the little things, people!
3) Learn to let go
This has been SO HARD for me. Since Matt works so much I do most everything around the house, and I'm particular about HOW I do things. I put clothes away in specific places, I load the dishwasher in order to get the max number of dishes in each load, and I grocery shop on a certain day. Matt really had it easy! Now that he is taking care of those things I can't nit-pick at the small things. Ever heard of the phrase "beggars can't be choosers?" I know Matt is doing his best at the grocery story, even if he ends up bringing home a different brand of detergent, or washes the dishes when there are 2 plates and a cup in there. (Ugh!) Big picture, Amanda...your baby boy is still baking and things around the house are taken care of.
4) Set short-term goals for yourself
It's easy for my days to blur together, and it's really easy to sulk about how much longer I still have to be in bed. I've found that if I just set one or two goals for each day I feel much more accomplished. Usually my goals are something like "take a shower and write a thank you note" or "read 4 chapters in baby book and work on pregnancy scrapbook." Some days I feel really productive and others...well, not so much. The point is just to have something to accomplish so I don't lose my mind.
5) Don't be afraid to ASK people to come see you
I think a lot of people just assume that because you can't leave your bed you are sick and don't want visitors. That's the funny thing about this whole bed rest thing...physically I feel fine. But emotionally, most of the time I'm not doing so fine. I need social interaction. I need to see my friends in the flesh, not just via text or email. I've learned that if I just pick up my phone and make a call, 99% of the time people will drop what they are doing and be at your door. Or bend over backwards to find a time they can be there. In the end you feel better and they are excited to see you!
6) Take a shower and get "dressed" everyday
This is the biggest thing that has helped me keep my sanity. Even through strict bed rest you are allowed a shower...TAKE IT! In the beginning there were days where I thought to myself, "I've been laying in bed for 24 hours, there's no way I need a shower." I quickly figured out that on the days I didn't take a shower and change out of my PJ's I was more grumpy and depressed. Even if you change out of one set of PJ's and into another, DO IT! I promise it makes the biggest difference.
That's all for now. Anyone else on bed rest have anything to add? I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
4 comments:
Hi Amanda! I stumbled upon your blog and just wanted to let you know that as a fellow bed-rester (though mine was much shorter than yours), I completely understand every sentiment that you described. I cried as well for a full day after the doctor gave me my news, and then I went into "keep-this-baby-cooking mode." If you can, take a break from the baby books and read a book you WANT to read that has nothing to do with babies. It's a life saver, and you won't have much time for that once your bundle arrives! Wishing you the best...
These are great! I found myself dreading 2:35 because it meant my school friends would be leaving work and no longer at their computer as much (and therefore not able to talk to me on email!) I found that having a schedule like yours really helped. I had certain shows to watch at certain times, ate lunch at the same time, even looked forward to the time I knew the mail would be coming!
I sounds like you are doing an awesome job and hanging in there :) If you ever need some company from somebody who totally understands what you are going through, let me know! I can come visit :)
I think this is one of my favorite posts!! You are doing a great job! And hey, we are allowed to have our temper tantrums every now and again :)
What a great post! I definitely think you deserve to throw a tantrum every now and then. How amazing to be doing the best thing you possibly can be for your boy...taking it easy!
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