Daddy's Eulogy

I want a record of Daddy's eulogy to keep.  This is a copy of what I read at Daddy's memorial service written by Mama.  

This eulogy was written by my mother.  These are Mama’s words:

Jesse was a rare and unique individual, a “native, lifelong Houstonian” born at St. Joseph’s on December 20, 1935.  He was the son of Jesse Howard and Flora Lee Carter.  Jesse grew up acting as his mother’s personal assistant.  He said he always had a baby on his hip as he helped raise his siblings:  Donald, Sibyl, Linda, and Mike.  Jesse attended Smiley High School where he was voted Most Athletic, graduating in 1955.  After graduation he proudly served six years in the US Marine Corps Reserves.

 

Although his real calling in life was to be a Marine drill sergeant, he became a true company man.  He worked for Gulf Oil Corporation for 28 years and then joined Chevron for 14 more years after Chevron acquired Gulf.  Jesse was able to find satisfaction and fulfillment in any job he held.  He told us the secret to his longevity at Chevron was that he was always 10 minutes early everyday and never made an enemy.

I met Jesse when I went to work for Gulf Oil in 1977.  A few months later, he asked me out, and I bluntly refused.  Then I found out he was single.  Awkwardly, he became my supervisor when we were dating.  After a two year courtship, we married, and I became the second mom to:  Jamie, Joel, Kendall, and Karey.  A whole new world opened for me as I had no brothers.  So. . . . I learned about dirt bikes, soccer, basketball, pole vaulting, and the Texas Cyclone at Astroworld.  Our greatest trial was the loss of Kendall in a tragic automobile accident in 1988.  Due to the loss of Kendall, I became close to Kendall’s mother, Nancy, a friendship that continues to today. 

Earlier that year his brother, Donald was diagnosed with cancer.  Jesse poured all of his grief from the loss of Kendall into saving Donald.  Fortunately, he had 21 more good years with him and became Betty’s right hand in his care.  If Jesse could have gone to visit Donald and Betty everyday he would have. 

In the early 1980’s when I decided I wanted children, Jesse was eager to take on raising another family.  And, surprise: we had girls—Amanda and Laura.  This was a whole new world for him:  girly clothes with hair bows, Girls Scouts, dance classes, Vacation Bible School, more dance classes, and dance competitions.  Every summer we went to Georgia to visit my relatives who all loved Jesse.  We made side trips to:  Atlanta, Savannah, Gatlinburg, Ashville, Mobile, and the Great Smokey Mountains.  Then we discovered Destin, and for 12 summers that was our destination—most of the time with the Eckhardts.  Jesse and I worked hard to have a special Florida vacation every year, and some of the girls’ favorite memories include our summers in Destin.

During these years of raising the girls we also had two very special ladies in our lives: Sylvia Arizola and Debbie Pearl.  Sylvia and Debbie helped carpool, cook dinner, play dress-up and anything else the girls could think of.  Sylvia, especially, was a mother to all of us. 

By 1999 Jesse was ready to retire, and he became Mr. Mom, taking the girls to school, shopping for groceries, carpooling to dance classes, and all other errands.  By the time I retired, Amanda was in college, and Laura was in high school. Jesse and I both volunteered at Katy High School many hours a week.  Jesse was in charge of baking cookies as a fundraiser for the drill team for approximately 8 years.  He had his “harem” of cookie ladies who he bossed around, and they raised many dollars for the drill team.  Our proudest moment came in 2005 when he was selected Volunteer of the Year for Katy High School.  We also had become avid Katy Tiger football fans and joined our group of dear friends, the Katy Karavan Krewe.  After Jesse retired from cookies, he played more and more golf.  He formed the “Old Codgers” golf group, and they played weekly first at Green Meadows, then Cinco Ranch, and finally, at Bear Creek Golf Course.  Over the years, he also worked at those courses as a starter.  It did not matter if it was golf or cookies, there was ONE way to do things, and that was HIS way.  All of his golfers have been in touch to tell me how much they loved him.

These are a few of Jesse’s favorite things:

Golfing

Katy Tiger Football

James Coney Island

The beach at Destin with the Eckhardts

Iced tea

Sibyl’s chocolate, coconut, and pecan pies

Fried Chicken

Dinner at Trudy’s or Aunt Trudelle’s

Arguing with Mama Jo & Auntie Carol

Arguing with ANYONE

Playing golf with Randall, Rex, Alton, & Gross

Vanilla ice cream—and ONLY vanilla

The tootsie rolls they kept for him at Christian Brothers Automotive

Above all else, the pride and joy of Jesse’s life was his grandchildren.  Jesse and I were blessed with five grandkids…3 girls and 2 boys.  Joel gave us our first granddaughter, Ashley, who will turn 21 this year.  Then came Hailey and Kyle, born to Karey and Dee.  Jesse loved to drive up to Montgomery to visit, especially to watch Hailey’s golf tournaments.  In 2010 our beloved Brooks came into our home, and Jesse was never the same.  They were like two peas in a pod, eating ice cream and junk food, taking naps in the living room, and traveling to all the Katy games together.  She had her Daddy J wrapped around her little finger.  Jesse was so proud to welcome our youngest grandson and namesake, Carter Ryan, into the family this past June.  Our grandchildren have given us a whole new definition of the word “love.”

So we had a great life.  Jesse golfed 4 days a week and worked at the golf course on Saturdays.  On Wednesdays, he went to Mama Jo’s for coffee and would take Brooxie Kate to see her great-grandmother.  Then we had ALL those football games.  We had so much fun together and never ran out of things to talk about, even after 33 years.  When the girls were little, Jesse told me he would have to call me “Mama” so the girls would learn, and I should call him “Daddy.”  My heart warmed with affection whenever he called me “Mama.”  And, when he called me Kathy, I knew he wasn’t happy.

It is really hard for me to let you go, Jesse.  I wanted 100 more years.  I feel like I am missing half of my heart.  But you got to live your life the way you wanted. 

So as Big Daddy said:  “Good Night, Sugah.”  And from me:  “Love you now.”