I want a record of Daddy's eulogy to keep. This is a copy of what I read at Daddy's memorial service written by Mama.
This
eulogy was written by my mother.
These are Mama’s words:
Jesse
was a rare and unique individual, a “native, lifelong Houstonian” born at St.
Joseph’s on December 20, 1935. He
was the son of Jesse Howard and Flora Lee Carter. Jesse grew up acting as his mother’s personal assistant. He said he always had a baby on his hip
as he helped raise his siblings:
Donald, Sibyl, Linda, and Mike.
Jesse attended Smiley High School where he was voted Most Athletic,
graduating in 1955. After
graduation he proudly served six years in the US Marine Corps Reserves.
Although
his real calling in life was to be a Marine drill sergeant, he became a true
company man. He worked for Gulf
Oil Corporation for 28 years and then joined Chevron for 14 more years after
Chevron acquired Gulf. Jesse was
able to find satisfaction and fulfillment in any job he held. He told us the secret to his longevity
at Chevron was that he was always 10 minutes early everyday and never made an
enemy.
I
met Jesse when I went to work for Gulf Oil in 1977. A few months later, he asked me out, and I bluntly
refused. Then I found out he was
single. Awkwardly, he became my
supervisor when we were dating.
After a two year courtship, we married, and I became the second mom
to: Jamie, Joel, Kendall, and
Karey. A whole new world opened
for me as I had no brothers. So. .
. . I learned about dirt bikes, soccer, basketball, pole vaulting, and the
Texas Cyclone at Astroworld. Our
greatest trial was the loss of Kendall in a tragic automobile accident in
1988. Due to the loss of Kendall,
I became close to Kendall’s mother, Nancy, a friendship that continues to
today.
Earlier
that year his brother, Donald was diagnosed with cancer. Jesse poured all of his grief from the
loss of Kendall into saving Donald.
Fortunately, he had 21 more good years with him and became Betty’s right
hand in his care. If Jesse could
have gone to visit Donald and Betty everyday he would have.
In
the early 1980’s when I decided I wanted children, Jesse was eager to take on
raising another family. And,
surprise: we had girls—Amanda and Laura.
This was a whole new world for him: girly clothes with hair bows, Girls Scouts, dance classes,
Vacation Bible School, more dance classes, and dance competitions. Every summer we went to Georgia to visit
my relatives who all loved Jesse.
We made side trips to:
Atlanta, Savannah, Gatlinburg, Ashville, Mobile, and the Great Smokey
Mountains. Then we discovered
Destin, and for 12 summers that was our destination—most of the time with the
Eckhardts. Jesse and I worked hard
to have a special Florida vacation every year, and some of the girls’ favorite
memories include our summers in Destin.
During
these years of raising the girls we also had two very special ladies in our
lives: Sylvia Arizola and Debbie Pearl.
Sylvia and Debbie helped carpool, cook dinner, play dress-up and
anything else the girls could think of.
Sylvia, especially, was a mother to all of us.
By
1999 Jesse was ready to retire, and he became Mr. Mom, taking the girls to school,
shopping for groceries, carpooling to dance classes, and all other errands. By the time I retired, Amanda was in
college, and Laura was in high school. Jesse and I both volunteered at Katy
High School many hours a week.
Jesse was in charge of baking cookies as a fundraiser for the drill team
for approximately 8 years. He had
his “harem” of cookie ladies who he bossed around, and they raised many dollars
for the drill team. Our proudest
moment came in 2005 when he was selected Volunteer of the Year for Katy High
School. We also had become avid
Katy Tiger football fans and joined our group of dear friends, the Katy Karavan
Krewe. After Jesse retired from
cookies, he played more and more golf.
He formed the “Old Codgers” golf group, and they played weekly first at
Green Meadows, then Cinco Ranch, and finally, at Bear Creek Golf Course. Over the years, he also worked at those
courses as a starter. It did not
matter if it was golf or cookies, there was ONE way to do things, and that was
HIS way. All of his golfers have
been in touch to tell me how much they loved him.
These
are a few of Jesse’s favorite things:
Golfing
Katy
Tiger Football
James
Coney Island
The
beach at Destin with the Eckhardts
Iced
tea
Sibyl’s
chocolate, coconut, and pecan pies
Fried
Chicken
Dinner
at Trudy’s or Aunt Trudelle’s
Arguing
with Mama Jo & Auntie Carol
Arguing
with ANYONE
Playing
golf with Randall, Rex, Alton, & Gross
Vanilla
ice cream—and ONLY vanilla
The
tootsie rolls they kept for him at Christian Brothers Automotive
Above
all else, the pride and joy of Jesse’s life was his grandchildren. Jesse and I were blessed with five
grandkids…3 girls and 2 boys. Joel
gave us our first granddaughter, Ashley, who will turn 21 this year. Then came Hailey and Kyle, born to Karey
and Dee. Jesse loved to drive up
to Montgomery to visit, especially to watch Hailey’s golf tournaments. In 2010 our beloved Brooks came into
our home, and Jesse was never the same.
They were like two peas in a pod, eating ice cream and junk food, taking
naps in the living room, and traveling to all the Katy games together. She had her Daddy J wrapped around her
little finger. Jesse was so proud
to welcome our youngest grandson and namesake, Carter Ryan, into the family
this past June. Our grandchildren
have given us a whole new definition of the word “love.”
So
we had a great life. Jesse golfed 4
days a week and worked at the golf course on Saturdays. On Wednesdays, he went to Mama Jo’s for
coffee and would take Brooxie Kate to see her great-grandmother. Then we had ALL those football games. We had so much fun together and never
ran out of things to talk about, even after 33 years. When the girls were little, Jesse told me he would have to
call me “Mama” so the girls would learn, and I should call him “Daddy.” My heart warmed with affection whenever
he called me “Mama.” And, when he
called me Kathy, I knew he wasn’t happy.
It
is really hard for me to let you go, Jesse. I wanted 100 more years. I feel like I am missing half of my heart. But you got to live your life the way
you wanted.
So
as Big Daddy said: “Good Night,
Sugah.” And from me: “Love you now.”
1 comment:
We are better people because JJC was in our lives. He is, and will be, missed. ILY
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