Thursday, January 5, 2012

To gender or not to gender

So much about this pregnancy has been so different than how I had always imagined things.  For one, I imagined being sick as a dog my first trimester and I have, thankfully, felt pretty good.  I also thought I would want to tell the whole world as soon as that second pink line came up on the pregnancy test.  Funny, it was kind of hard for me to send out our Christmas cards announcing our pregnancy.  As soon as it was "real" I just wanted to keep it a secret and keep my baby safe inside of me.  It was never very hard to keep from spilling the beans and it still kind of throws me off sometimes when someone congratulates me.  I have to stop for a split-second and think "congratulations about what?" before it finally clicks.  (It could also be this pregnancy brain thing I've been hearing all about.)

But most of all I thought as soon as we could I would want to know the sex of our baby.  It's actually been the exact opposite the past few weeks.  Once Dr. P told me we could get a gender scan at 16 weeks I froze- and really surprised myself when I did.  We had always planned on finding out, but then it took us 3 years and much effort to get here.  Is it weird that I kind of want just ONE thing to happen for us the old fashioned way?  A BIG part of me really wants to just enjoy being pregnant and bonding with my baby before I start thinking about nursery colors, clothes and names.  And this is coming from the most Type-A person I know!! I'm actually shocked I'm writing this!

So my question for you mommas out there- did you find out or not find out?  What are the perks/ pits of both?  If you did find out did you get too many clothes and not enough baby gear at your showers?  If you didn't find out, was it stressful putting together the nursery and doing all of the shopping after baby was born?  We basically have only 2 weeks to make a decision and every day I go back-and-forth on my decision and I want to go into this ultrasound with a firm decision one way or the other.

That being said- it is very possible that Matt (or my mom or his mom) could totally overrule me in the next 2 weeks.  Stay tuned.  

14 comments:

Amy said...

Adam and I are finding out today. We talked about waiting with baby #2, but we will see when that happens! I am so ready to call the baby "him" or "her" when talking about them instead of "it" or "baby". Also Adam thinks we are having a girl and I am definitely thinking boy so we can't wait to find out who was right :) Don't stress out about it, talk to your family and see what they suggest too :) Hope you are feeling better!

Robby and Stephanie said...

It's not weird at all. Your feelings are totally normal! We found out. I was positive I didn't want to know. I was like you and wanted to go about it the old fashion way. But, like you I had a very curious hubby & family. Robby told me that he would find out and I could wait... RIGHT! Once it came down to it I was just as eager and the thought of envisioning the future with my baby boy or girl was too much and was right on board with hubby.
We did get a ton of clothes, but also most of the necessitates as well. At least the big stuff. Don't worry about that part of it.
Good luck with your decision! It's such a special one:) Let me know if you need anything this week...

Chris said...

Hey sweet Amanda! :) As you know, we didn't find out and I LOVED LOVED LOVED it!!! Chris loved it too and he was the one that was hesitant about it. We will absolutely do it that way with any future babies too! I love that you are considering it. I HIGHLY recommend it. I am also very type A and it didn't bother me one bit! I felt completely prepared(well as prepared as you can be)! It drove everyone else crazy though! ;) Honestly, I can't think of any cons, so I am going to share my pros. :)

1. I created a gender neutral nursery that I loved. I felt like I was creating it for all of our babies, not just the first one. I hope to use it for all of our babies and just change out little personal touches.
2. We got EVERYTHING we needed. Sometimes when you know the gender (especially if it's a girl) people tend to want to buy clothes and then you often end up with tons of clothes and not a lot of the necessities. I am kind of picky about baby clothes anyway, so it worked out well for me. :) Of course my mom bought clothes for him after he was born. I always say I would rather have fewer outfits, but ones that I love, so he can wear them a lot, than have tons of outfits that I don't really love.
3. This is obvious, but the surprise was just something I will never forget! You are surprised either way (whether at the ultrasound or in the delivery room), but to hear the doctor say, "It's a boy!" and then to hear him crying was absolutely incredible! I also loved that Chris got to walk Reid out to the waiting room (I was shocked they let him do this) and announce to everyone that it was a boy! The nurse videoed it so I could watch their reactions...priceless!

Those are just a few of my pros! :) Sorry for the ridiculously long/over enthusiastic comment! :)

Bottom line...you will NEVER regret it if you choose not to find out! Either way I know you will make the best decision for yall! Can't wait to hear what you decide!

Brittany said...

Oops! Apparently I was signed in as Chris. That was Brittany obviously. :) I don't think Chris would have used that many exclamation points and smiley faces!

Brittany said...

Also, I have a friend that didn't find out and decorated her nursery after the baby was born. She painted a neautral color that went with both of her bedding choices. She had her furniture set up and basically just added bedding and accessories later. She had brainstormed and picked out things for both so she could just order everything. I decided I was going to do a gender neutral nursery and then do a fun gender specific "big boy" room when he moves out of the nursery later. My thought process on that was if we have another baby of a different gender, then I would have to redo the nursery and also do a "big boy" room which would be more work and more money. This way the nursery will always stay pretty much the same and I will just have one room redo. Either way, I don't think it would be too stressful! Can you tell I am a little excited that you are considering this? Haha!

Amber Allen said...

Go with you heart, and dont listen to people like me who want you to find out :-). Don't worry about not getting the necessitits though. You have SOOO many people that have been waiting for this moment that you will get more than you will ever need!

Amber Allen said...

opps...necessities... I promise I can spell!

Granny said...

God will guide you through this decision. It's up to you and Matthew to decide. We did not have an option we had to just wait and pray that our baby was healthy, the sex didn't matter. As I grow older I wonder how I would have mothered a girl. Good luck, my prayers are with you daily. Love you both.

Bradi said...

We found out because I was dying to start shopping for girly stuff (obviously that didn't happen either time). But we got all of the necessities even knowing we were having boys. I would rather people buy me gender specific clothes than yellow/green since even when mine were wearing blue, people said "she's so cute!". I can totally understand why people wait, though. The surprise would be fun.

The place that we ordered Aidan's bedding from works with people who are waiting to find out. You pick out bedding for a boy and bedding for a girl. Then you have the doctor's office call the company and tell them what you're having. Then they make it for you. I'm sure there are other places that will do that, too.

If you decide you want to have someone make your bedding, let me know. There's a lady in Pearland who is SUPER cheap and awesome! Definitely going to use her again next time (when we have a girl). ;)

Mechelle said...

I did not find out for two, but did find out for number three. There are pros and cons to both. I do like the element of surprise, especially since nothing else was as I planned it. But, with Jami...since I had already given away the baby bed etc., I was happy to be able to have a pink nursery with all the "girlie"
things. The previous two, we had yellow, lime green etc. It was all fine either way. After the first two girls, we were showered by grandparents with all the pink we needed. I planned and decorated the nursery for "neutral." Then, after the baby came, grandparents just piled on with all the frilly stuff. Also, to make Gene feel more involved...I did not get the "go home from the hospital outfit" until after she was born. That was a Gene chore; he went out and bought the go home outfit(s). So, it all works out. If you want a surprise, wait. Overall...I vote WAIT.

Mechelle said...

Also, one more thing: No one but hubby overrides Momma's decisions (and then it is debatable) in the process. IMO, anyway. I did not wait as long as you to get preggers, but it took me two years. By the time I was pregnant, I wanted to keep it all to myself too...including decisions. So, keep your Type A enough to guard your own personal wishes. ILY!

Anonymous said...

I did NOT find out. It was the one thing in our life that I knew I really wanted to be surpised about. I did everything "neutral" and it was super easy. I didn't even have names. I wanted to see my lil bundle and look into his/her eyes and see what he/she LOOKED like before I named him/her.
This bothered everyone else soooo much! It was kind of comical. I would do it again, in a HEART beat. I thought I would always want to know, but for me, for us, this was the BEST decision I think I ever made.
When I had HIM it was the best surprise ever. Good luck with your decision!

Holly said...

Chris and I found out, because like you said I am such a Type A and if I hadn't had a nursery to plan I would have gone crazy during those 9 months. However, I think it would have been fun to have not found out. Some of the best gifts I received were those personalized items for Mason that I never would have thought or tried to register for. We received all of the big items we needed and were actually short on clothing believe it or not. I think it really depends on what you want. I am such a planner and since there are so many unknowns during pregnancy I liked having something to focus on. Everyone is different. I like surprises most of the time, but this was one of those things I needed to be able to know as much as possible about.

Good luck with your decision and we are continuing to pray for your health!!!!!

Laura said...

Can you sistr override your decision???? JK! I think both families are so excited about this baby, we don't have to know the gender. We just want you and Matthew to have an amazing journey along the way and we will support whatever you choose!!! Love that baby already!